It’s Time To Stop Pretending And Just Be Yourself

Do you pretend that you are something that you are not?

I have probably done this a few times in the past but I actually think that it is a pretty stupid thing to do.

I want to provide you with another reality check here – the UK property investment industry certainly has its fair share of bullshitters!

I have got to know quite a few people in the industry over the years. Some of them are really down to earth people in a one on one situation but when they attend networking events they turn into someone different that I don’t recognise.

This is a constant source of amusement for me!

They will pretend that they are on the verge of a groundbreaking deal that will finally provide the freedom that they are looking for. The funny thing is that when I spoke with them last week they admitted that they were struggling.

Obviously they are trying to impress others with this pretending. But is it really a good thing to do? Not in my opinion!

You see the trouble with pretending is that you have to keep the pretense going. If you are caught out in a lie then this can damage your reputation no end. Trust is more important than anything and if people catch you in a lie then your trust with them will be shot to pieces.

Honestly it isn’t worth it.

Being yourself is likely to bring you more Success

If you tend to bring a lot of BS with you to meetings of any kind then I recommend strongly that you stop this now. In my experience you are far more likely to be successful if you are just your normal self.

Others usually always appreciate you being open and honest. I have done several deals with estate agents based on honesty that have served me well for many years. A number of agents told me that they hate the pretenders in my industry. These guys approach agents and tell them that they are going to invest massively and they had better find the best deals for them.

Of course this isn’t true and an experienced agent can detect this kind of pretense a mile away. A lot of people come up with this BS when they are just starting out because they don’t want the agent to know that they are a newcomer. If this is something that you do, or are thinking of doing, then forget about it.

You can’t fool an experience agent that easily. They will not take you seriously and they will feel insulted that you lied to them. Do you think that they are going to provide you with the best deals or tip you off when there is something good in the pipeline? It’s not likely is it?

By being honest with my agents I receive tips about good deals all of the time. When I was just starting out I told them that I was new to the game and I would really appreciate their help. Most of them did help me. OK there may be some agents who do not want to deal with newcomers. Just move on and find one who will.

It’s all about Trust and Respect

I didn’t get involved in the property investment business to make friends. I have made some good friends along the way which I consider to be a bonus. The pretenders are always out to make friends with everyone. They will find out what the person likes and how they tick and will try to emulate this.

I consider this to be a complete waste of time. There are many people that I deal with on a regular basis in my business that I certainly wouldn’t want to associate with socially and they probably feel the same way about me. But what we do have is a mutual trust and respect.

I am not a golf fan but the pretenders always believe that you need to have an interest in golf to succeed in property investment. Not having an interest in golf has never held me back. On the few occasions that I was invited to play golf with a respected contact I just politely turned the invitation down.

Another thing that the pretenders believe is that they have to be a wine connoisseur. In my opinion there is more BS talked about wine than virtually any other subject in the business world. I would never pretend that I was a wine expert if I was meeting important people for dinner. I would just tell them that I will concede to their superior knowledge.

Alcohol brings “You” to the surface

While we are on the subject of alcohol I believe that drinking at any function is very dangerous for the pretender. Alcohol has a tendency to bring you back down to earth the more you drink it. If you have been outing on a fake accent the entire evening to impress, this will soon disappear after a few glasses!

If you think that I am going over the top here with the fake accent accusation then you are wrong – I have seen it a few times at networking events! If you have a strong local accent then be proud of it. Some of the “silver spoon” merchants at these gatherings might not approve but who cares?

Making judgements about people based on their accents is ridiculous but unfortunately it does happen. If someone told me that I didn’t have the right accent to be successful then I would just laugh at them and move away immediately. Of course nobody would be brave enough to tell you this to your face.

False Bragging and other nonsense

Most people are in the property investment game to become wealthy. I certainly am and you probably are too. As a result of this I have witnessed no shortage of pretenders who claim to have wealth that they don’t have.

They turn up in the latest Mercedes sports car (which they leased) and wear a lot of expensive looking jewelry which are probably knock offs from China. What is the point of all of this? It is not going to change your fortunes around. If people spot that your watch is a fake they are just going to think you are an idiot.

May people that become wealthy do not have expensive cars, clothes and jewelry. They are always smartly presented but see these things as superfluous and a waste of money. So stop pretending that you are wealthy when you are not.

The other people that irritate me beyond belief are those that use all of the latest property investment terms in every sentence. They love using acronyms, of which there are many in this business, and it seems like they are trying to catch you out every time that they speak with you.

They will act shocked if you don’t know what one of their terms means. These people have probably never landed a successful property project in their lives but they know all of the buzz words. Just get me out of there!

Be Authentic instead

Just be Yourself by Akamï

If you are a pretender then the best advice I can give you to break this ludicrous pattern is to make a commitment to yourself to be authentic. This starts with being honest with yourself first. Another word for this is integrity. I strive for integrity in everything that I do.

Take full responsibility for your life and decide that you will make it on your own terms. Distance yourself from the bullshit merchants and do things your way. Don’t change your accent for anyone and be honest in all of your dealings with others.

We all have self doubts and other fears and I guess this drives some people to put on a false facade. Accept who you are and make a commitment to yourself to improve and grow. Forget about learning to play golf and wasting hours online learning about wine. This will never get you the results that you want. Pretending all of the time is hard work and a layer of effort that you really don’t need. Focus your effort on your property investment business rather than trying to impress people by being someone that you are not. It may take you a while to shake of the pretending but stick with it because it is the right thing to do.

Harvey Raybould

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