Do you complain a lot?
Does anything and everything get under your skin and send you into a tirade of complaining?
I used to complain about everything. The smallest things would set me off. I knew that I was wasting my energy but it was just an automatic response for me when I faced any negative situation – no matter how small and petty.
When you have your own business you often have to rely on other people to make your business work. This is certainly true of property investment and it applies to a lot of other businesses as well.
It is not just your own colleagues and employees you have to rely on. In the past, suppliers have been responsible for probably half of my complaining. They would make all kinds of promises and then fail to deliver.
In my property business I have to deal with many different people. If you want to be a successful property investor then you will have to do this too. Everyone talks a good job but you know that someone is going to let you down. It’s just inevitable.
It was not just people that I used to complain about. In all of my businesses I have relied on computers to manage them. And guess what? Computers go wrong sometimes. They can also be slow and hold you up. Computers provided me with a vast number of things to complain about.
So what is wrong with Complaining?
I was finding that through my constant complaining I was experiencing some negative effects. Some of these were pretty bad and always made my day a lot worse. Here are some of the problems caused by complaining:
Really Saps your Energy
I used to put so much energy into complaining about everything that I had very little left to get things done for the rest of the day. When you release a series of complaints, with a side of anger of course, it is going to drain your energy.
If you become angry through complaining, which is very easy to do, then this is going to trigger an adrenaline burst. Not long afterwards you will feel the energy draining from you. You will feel weak and tired. Not the ideal state to be in for a successful property investor.
Complaining will Mess with your Mood
As a property investor you will probably experiences highs and lows on a daily basis. There are highs from those small victories that take you a step closer to your goals. And then there are the lows when things don’t turn out as you expected them too.
Add constant complaining into this mix and it is going to play havoc with your mood. When you are complaining your mood will hit rock bottom. This can lead to anxiety, impatience, anger and irritation. It really isn’t good.
Your Complaining will Negatively affect others
When you complain about everything you not only dampen your own mood and drive your energy levels down but you can cause the same thing to happen in those around you. This is especially true for people that are the target of your complaining.
Complaining can be contagious as well. If your workers see you complaining all of the time it won’t be long before they are doing it too. You are their leader and you have a lot of influence. Soon all of the people in your business will be creating a completely negative environment.
Complaining stifles Creativity
When you complain all of your focus is about the problem. It does not put you in the right frame of mind to find solutions. If you want to be a successful property investor then you will need to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. Complaining will prevent you from being able to do this.
Complaining can cause you Severe Health Problems
If none of the other things that I have talked about are enough to stop you constantly complaining then you need to pay close attention to this. Complaining causes your stress levels to rise and this can cause damage to your immune system if you do it often enough.
You can start suffering from an increased amount of inflammation, the suppression of your thyroid and even the weakening of your bones. These things will make you more susceptible to disease and your life expectancy will shorten. Pretty scary stuff!
How you can Stop Constant Complaining
I was really suffering from the amount of complaining that I used to do. It was affecting my business and my health and probably those around me too. I decided that I had to stop this constant complaining so I did a number of things to change the way that I approached everyday situations.
I became Curious
I was experiencing disappoint on a regular basis which was the main reason for my complaining. So I decided that I need to change my approach in the face of disappointment. Instead of getting frustrated and angry I decided to become curious. When I did this I was able to keep my cool and not suffer from continuous mood swings.
By becoming curious I started to ask questions rather than complain. I was able to obtain the necessary information to explain why the disappointment occurred by asking the right questions. I could then move closer to a solution to ensure that this particular problem had less chance of arising again in the future.
The best business leaders always ask smart questions. They believe there is a solution to every problem and that problems are opportunities in disguise. Instead of complaining or ranting and raving they calmly gather all of the necessary information and fix the problem.
It took me a little while to move from complaining to curiosity but with persistent effort it really paid off. So the next time something unexpected happens in your business be curious about it instead of complaining.
I was Grateful
This may seem odd to you at first but it really works so stay with me. When things go wrong the easy thing to do is wallow in self pity and get into a negative state. So I took a step back and thought to myself “things could be a lot worse” and I was grateful for that.
Here is an example. I have a very good employee that has worked with me for a long time. Like everyone else she made mistakes from time to time and I found myself complaining to her on a regular basis. So I thought about how good she was and how much I relied on her. I was very grateful that she was working with me. This changed everything.
I adopted a Generous Attitude
When someone lets you down it is natural to want to make them pay for what they did, plot revenge on them and hold a grudge. But this really doesn’t get you anywhere. So I thought about how I could approach people in a different way when they let me down so that there could be a positive outcome.
I decided that I would adopt a generous attitude. This was not easy to do as these people had let me down. But I knew that I wanted to spare myself from the negativity of anger and complaining and also find a way forward.
So I approached everything in a calm manner. I would say things like “I understand that sometimes things go wrong so let’s talk about how we can put them right”. I used my curiosity to ask questions and I made suggestions to the other person to improve things. This worked well and most of these people never let me down again.
So if you are a constant complainer then it is time to stop right now. Adopt curiosity, gratitude and a generous attitude as I did. Treat every problem as an opportunity to move forward in a better way. Stop complaining for the sake of your health!