Do you complain a lot?
Does anything and everything get under your
skin and send you into a tirade of complaining?
I used to complain about everything. The
smallest things would set me off. I knew that I was wasting my energy but it
was just an automatic response for me when I faced any negative situation – no
matter how small and petty.
When you have your own business you often
have to rely on other people to make your business work. This is certainly true
of property investment and it applies to a lot of other businesses as well.
It is not just your own colleagues and
employees you have to rely on. In the past, suppliers have been responsible for
probably half of my complaining. They would make all kinds of promises and then
fail to deliver.
In my property business I have to deal with
many different people. If you want to be a successful property investor then
you will have to do this too. Everyone talks a good job but you know that
someone is going to let you down. It’s just inevitable.
It was not just people that I used to
complain about. In all of my businesses I have relied on computers to manage
them. And guess what? Computers go wrong sometimes. They can also be slow and
hold you up. Computers provided me with a vast number of things to complain
So what is wrong with Complaining?
I was finding that through my constant
complaining I was experiencing some negative effects. Some of these were pretty
bad and always made my day a lot worse. Here are some of the problems caused by
Really Saps your Energy
I used to put so much energy into
complaining about everything that I had very little left to get things done for
the rest of the day. When you release a series of complaints, with a side of
anger of course, it is going to drain your energy.
If you become angry through complaining,
which is very easy to do, then this is going to trigger an adrenaline burst.
Not long afterwards you will feel the energy draining from you. You will feel
weak and tired. Not the ideal state to be in for a successful property
Complaining will Mess with your Mood
As a property investor you will probably
experiences highs and lows on a daily basis. There are highs from those small
victories that take you a step closer to your goals. And then there are the
lows when things don’t turn out as you expected them too.
Add constant complaining into this mix and
it is going to play havoc with your mood. When you are complaining your mood
will hit rock bottom. This can lead to anxiety, impatience, anger and
irritation. It really isn’t good.
Your Complaining will Negatively affect others
When you complain about everything you not
only dampen your own mood and drive your energy levels down but you can cause
the same thing to happen in those around you. This is especially true for
people that are the target of your complaining.
Complaining can be contagious as well. If
your workers see you complaining all of the time it won’t be long before they
are doing it too. You are their leader and you have a lot of influence. Soon
all of the people in your business will be creating a completely negative
Complaining stifles Creativity
When you complain all of your focus is
about the problem. It does not put you in the right frame of mind to find
solutions. If you want to be a successful property investor then you will need
to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. Complaining will prevent you
from being able to do this.
Complaining can cause you Severe Health Problems
If none of the other things that I have
talked about are enough to stop you constantly complaining then you need to pay
close attention to this. Complaining causes your stress levels to rise and this
can cause damage to your immune system if you do it often enough.
You can start suffering from an increased
amount of inflammation, the suppression of your thyroid and even the weakening
of your bones. These things will make you more susceptible to disease and your
life expectancy will shorten. Pretty scary stuff!
How you can Stop Constant Complaining
I was really suffering from the amount of
complaining that I used to do. It was affecting my business and my health and
probably those around me too. I decided that I had to stop this constant complaining
so I did a number of things to change the way that I approached everyday
I became Curious
I was experiencing disappoint on a regular
basis which was the main reason for my complaining. So I decided that I need to
change my approach in the face of disappointment. Instead of getting frustrated
and angry I decided to become curious. When I did this I was able to keep my
cool and not suffer from continuous mood swings.
By becoming curious I started to ask
questions rather than complain. I was able to obtain the necessary information
to explain why the disappointment occurred by asking the right questions. I
could then move closer to a solution to ensure that this particular problem had
less chance of arising again in the future.
The best business leaders always ask smart
questions. They believe there is a solution to every problem and that problems
are opportunities in disguise. Instead of complaining or ranting and raving
they calmly gather all of the necessary information and fix the problem.
It took me a little while to move from
complaining to curiosity but with persistent effort it really paid off. So the
next time something unexpected happens in your business be curious about it
instead of complaining.
I was Grateful
This may seem odd to you at first but it
really works so stay with me. When things go wrong the easy thing to do is
wallow in self pity and get into a negative state. So I took a step back and
thought to myself “things could be a lot worse” and I was grateful for that.
Here is an example. I have a very good
employee that has worked with me for a long time. Like everyone else she made
mistakes from time to time and I found myself complaining to her on a regular
basis. So I thought about how good she was and how much I relied on her. I was
very grateful that she was working with me. This changed everything.
I adopted a Generous Attitude
When someone lets you down it is natural to
want to make them pay for what they did, plot revenge on them and hold a
grudge. But this really doesn’t get you anywhere. So I thought about how I
could approach people in a different way when they let me down so that there
could be a positive outcome.
I decided that I would adopt a generous
attitude. This was not easy to do as these people had let me down. But I knew
that I wanted to spare myself from the negativity of anger and complaining and
also find a way forward.
So I approached everything in a calm
manner. I would say things like “I understand that sometimes things go wrong so
let’s talk about how we can put them right”. I used my curiosity to ask
questions and I made suggestions to the other person to improve things. This
worked well and most of these people never let me down again.
So if you are a constant complainer then it
is time to stop right now. Adopt curiosity, gratitude and a generous attitude
as I did. Treat every problem as an opportunity to move forward in a better
way. Stop complaining for the sake of your health!